by Robin Cox | Dec 10, 2019 | Building strengths, Christian teachers, Coaching leadership, Mentors, motivating teenagers, Parents, Relationships
I often ask the question: when you were a teenager, who, other than your parents and friends, had a significant influence on your life? Sometimes, sadly, people were living in homes that were not functioning too well for a variety of reasons, so positive parental influence might have been lacking. No matter what the situation, most young people will talk about a teacher or a coach, a person who cared about them, believed in them. and was often a cheerleader during a confusing time of one’s life. A colleague died earlier this week. We taught together for eight years, shared many life and teaching experiences and enjoyed many laughs. Many of his former students have left tributes thanking him for the different ways he touched their lives. Words and phrases like, ‘inspiring’, ‘approachable’, ‘friendly’,’great teacher’, ‘caring’ and ‘great sense of humor’ are littered throughout the tributes. Clearly one dedicated teacher has impacted many more lives than he probably even realized. How often do we actually pause to hear from young people? What do they think? How are they feeling? Ways to encourage teenagers The world mourns the death of so many innocent lives and the injuries others have sustained as a result of bomb blasts and shootings in different parts of the world in recent times, though we must never forget the tens of thousands, maybe millions of young people living in poverty or traumatized by war or child abuse or some other traumatic event in their lives. For many years I have been thinking of a way to inspire and positively impact the lives of young people, encouraging...
by Robin Cox | Jul 31, 2019 | Coaching leadership, Mentors, motivating teenagers, Parents, Relationships, Resiliency, teachers
Do you think there is HOPE for the future? That’s a challenging question to ask a young person, though you’ll probably be surprised when most answer in the affirmative. Do you remember living in HOPE as a teenager? Why was this? Do you still hold those thoughts? Did anyone inspire you with positive and hopeful possibilities when you were young? So many questions … “What if _____?” I wonder how many times I have asked this question over the years? I have been an idealist chasing dreams throughout my life. Some of these dreams have been attained. Others – I HOPE I am still on that journey to achieve them, as most involve reaching out in some way to those less fortunate than I am or developing a new resource to encourage young people to reach their potential. Hope! I remembered Mike’s story.Mike (not his real name) contacted me over 20 years after I had coached and taught him. All he wanted to say was thank you for believing in him during a challenging time of his life. His parents had separated and he was struggling with the implications of that as a 14 or 15-year old. I had given him responsibility for opening and locking a meeting room. I had no idea at the time that this incredibly small task – in my eyes – had proved a life-changing moment for him. Someone had trusted him, given him a responsible task to undertake and he had been truly appreciative of the impact that had had on his self-belief. A message of HOPE! Retirement encourages a time for reflection...
by Robin Cox | Jul 24, 2019 | Building strengths, coaching leaders, Mentors, motivating teenagers, Parents, Relationships, Resiliency
Can you remember a time when you worked hard for something and enjoyed success or victory? Or, you didn’t quite make it? How did you feel? What life lessons can you share with others as a result of those experiences? Or, do you sometimes feel like a ‘fossil’, passed your ‘use-by-date’? While enjoying my daily beach walk, I have been reflecting on questions like these. I have enjoyed a variety of successes over the years – many sporting achievements and awards, becoming a school principal, developing youth mentoring programs in New Zealand and Australia, author of a number of published books and lots more. And now, as I embrace retirement, I am wondering if I am becoming a fossil and am passed my use-by date or whether there is one more chapter of my life story to write prior to the Epilogue? This was until I reflected on some wonderful life lessons from the ‘fossils’ in the 2019 New Zealand Silver Ferns World Championship Netball team. Overcoming adversity The Silver Ferns, against all odds, defeated the defending champions, Australian Diamonds, in a cliffhanger world cup final earlier this week by the narrowest of margins, one goal! The Silver Ferns, once one of the powerhouses of women’s netball, had faded in recent years and, after a disastrous Commonwealth Games in 2017, a new coach was appointed and the captain, Katrina Rore, was stripped of the captaincy and then dropped. However, as I have often shared over the years, there is a solution to every problem or challenge. New coach – fresh thinking New Coach, Noeline Taurua, overlooked in the past...
by Robin Cox | Jul 17, 2019 | Building strengths, coaching leaders, Mentors, motivating teenagers, Parents, Relationships, Resiliency, teachers
Have you ever feared the unknown future? Have you ever been through a really tough and challenging situation? A relationship breakdown? Failed an important test or exam? A family crisis? A time you felt you were being unfairly treated? A financial loss? Just missing out on a dream goal? The recipient of an unfair decision? Bullying of any sort? It seems as though these are some of the issues that many of today’s young people are grappling with. They are seeking meaning and purpose for their lives, want to feel cared for and valued and are struggling with other questions like: What jobs will still be around when I finish school? What jobs will there be available to me when I graduate from University or Tertiary Study? How will robotics and Artificial Intelligence impact my career prospects? These are all legitimate questions and our young people need to be encouraged and supported as they journey through adolescence to fulfil their potential, so let’s consider 12 qualities you can nurture to develop resilient teenagers. Lou Thompson, who has worked extensively in New Zealand and Australia in the areas of education psychology, behavior management and Special Needs, has written books on developing self-esteem in young people, as well as mentoring youth. 12 qualities to nurture resilient teenagers The following 12 points include some of the ideas Lou has shared over the years to help anyone working with young people develop their resiliency and a healthy self-esteem and which I have taken the liberty to expand upon in places. On further reflection, most of these points could be adapted and applied to anyone...
by Robin Cox | Jul 10, 2019 | Building strengths, Coaching leadership, Mentors, motivating teenagers, Parents, Relationships, Resiliency, teachers
What advice were you given about striving to have the best life when you were a teenager? Who had the most influence on you with their thoughts? What have you remembered? What 5 tips would you share with a teenager? I have been spending time reflecting on the interactions I have been having with a variety of people in recent months. Thoughts and ideas spring to mind. As adolescents journey to adulthood and their brains are still developing, here are 30 tips which will assist them to become the best they can be – come to think of it, they should probably be called 30 Tips for the Best Life, as they can probably be adapted to the lives of adults as well. 30 Tips for the BEST life There will be many more tips than these, so regard this list as a start. Attitude – never ever forget that you choose your attitude and how you respond to all that life throws at you. Live in hope and work hard at taking a positive, constructive attitude into everything you do and into all your meaningful relationships. Ask – never stop asking questions no matter how trivial you might think they are. When others share their stories with you, you will gain knowledge which could significantly impact your life decisions. Apologise – no-one is perfect. When you make a mistake, say the wrong thing, forget to do something you promised to do … whatever it might be, front up and be genuinely sorry. Celebrate – celebrate the small and large victories; the times you achieve a relatively simple goal...
by Robin Cox | Jul 3, 2019 | Building strengths, coaching leaders, Mentors, Parents, Relationships, Resiliency, teachers, youth mentoring
Have you ever wanted to give up mentoring a teenager? Or just felt you were getting nowhere? Or felt totally frustrated about being a mentor? Maybe a combination of all these thoughts and more? This relationship seemed tougher than climbing the highest mountain? “I’m ….. uh ….. in trouble again!” That unmistakably negative 15 year old voice in my ear as I drove across the Auckland Harbor Bridge to my North Shore home. Monday evening. Could the day really get any worse? I had lost two potentially major business deals and now Billy. “What’s the trouble, Billy?” I asked, desperately trying to remember some mentor training tips. Disapprove of the behaviour, but love the child. “It’s that peach-head Mr Squires. Says I cheated in the Maths test, but I didn’t, Tony, I swear …….” “I believe you, Billy.” “No-one else does!” A hint of anxiety in his voice. A short silence. “My dad’s going to murder me when he hears I’m internally suspended.” I pictured a terrified Billy, shoulders drooped, looking up to his dad, a brute of a man, owner of a building construction company, hesitatingly breaking this news. Would this be the last straw in an already fragile relationship? “Where are you, Billy?” “The Mall.” “Okay, meet me at the Food Court in 15 minutes.” “What’s the point? This whole program sucks. My friends were right …… I’ll always be a loser! Stuff school!” “Hey, Billy, meet me …….. please?!” Did he detect my concern or the feeling of irritability, the result of a tough day in the office? Both probably. Billy didn’t miss much. “Uh …...
