by Robin Cox | Aug 11, 2020 | Building strengths, coaching leaders, Mentors, motivating teenagers, Parents, Resiliency, youth mentoring
“I nearly died, but I wanted to speak to you …” Saturday evening a couple of weeks ago. My cellphone rings. A Whatsapp call. Jabu, calling from Los Angeles. I am in New Zealand! Jabu had been a student at the school in South Africa where I was principal in the early 1990’s. Although we had communicated via social media a few times during the past year or so, we had not spoken for over twenty-five years. Jabu had a story to share. Jabu’s story Jabu spent the next hour sharing some of his story with me. He had a tough upbringing and, as he reminded me, was behind his peers academically when he arrived at the school because of a disrupted education. We discovered quite quickly that Jabu had a talent and a passion for art, so an extra special effort was made to encourage him with his artwork. Jabu would later travel to the USA to continue his self-learning and personal development and to forge a career using his art. He also became a talented boxer, following the example of his hero Nelson Mandela. A couple of years ago he was involved in a serious car accident from which he recovered. However, he continued to experience some back issues as a result of the accident and reluctantly agreed to have an operation to fix the problem a few months ago. Complications followed the operation. Jabu was flown by helicopter to hospital from the remote place where he had been recuperating. His condition was critical, but he pulled through and is now well on the road to a...
by Robin Cox | Jul 28, 2020 | Christian teachers, coaching leaders, Mentors, motivating teenagers, Relationships, Resiliency, youth mentoring
Is there one specific positive moment from your youth that you will never forget? A special moment? A life-changing moment, perhaps? I have been caught up in writing this year. It is strange, as I have never regarded myself as being much of a writer, though clearly God has other ideas. All three books which will be published by the end of the year carry a theme of the ‘spirit of mentoring’ and they also aim to encourage people. So, I have thought deeply about all the people who have encouraged me over the years. And, in my youth, the moment that stands out for me was my last day at school. School finished each year with an Annual Prize giving celebratory event. I had the honor and privilege of being school captain during my final year at school and had enjoyed a memorable year. Creating memories The previous year I had discovered that as a young boy I had had cancer and was not guaranteed to live. I knew I had been seriously ill, but I never knew I had had ‘cancer’. Fortunately, thanks to the amazing skills of a wonderful team of doctors and nurses, as well as incredible support from my family, teachers and friends, I became a ‘survivor’. When I was appointed school captain, I determined that this would be the year I gave back to all those who had supported me on this journey. I set many goals and achieved them all and this included stepping out of my comfort zone and trying different activities, exploring things I might not normally have explored, and...
by Robin Cox | Jul 15, 2020 | Building strengths, coaching leaders, Mentors, motivating teenagers, Resiliency, teachers, youth mentoring
Have you ever wanted some quick tips and ideas to encourage your work with teenagers – as a teacher, coach, parent, grandparent, or youth worker? During the past couple of weeks I have been going through the final proof of my new book: Mentoring Minutes: Weekly Messages to Encourage Anyone Working with Youth. There are 260 daily messages – five each week of the year – covering many topics: self-image, communication, positively resolving conflicts, resiliency, goal setting and more. I have woven true mentoring stories throughout the book to encourage anyone working with young people never to quit on them. This blog is an example of one daily message. Tips to nurture resilient mentees A key role of an effective volunteer adult mentor is to develop resilient mentees. How can you do this? Here are a few ideas and strategies that I have used effectively for many years. The key point is that they are non-threatening, motivating and even, in some instances, inspiring. Focus on the development of a caring, trusting relationship with your mentees, and not on saving them. Have fun. Have positive, high, realistic expectations for your mentees. Never quit on your mentees. Meet your mentees’ emotional safety needs by being available to talk. Sustain kindness, for example, with a touch on the shoulder, a smile, or a genuine greeting. Get to know your mentees’ strengths, dreams, and gifts. Help them to develop the skills and resources to unlock these. You convey the message: You matter. Be reliable and accessible, and turn up for the agreed meetings with your mentees. Encourage your mentees to create positive peer...
by Robin Cox | Jun 29, 2020 | Building strengths, coaching leaders, Mentors, motivating teenagers, Relationships, Resiliency
How often, when you are chatting to teenagers and trying to understand them do you reflect on your adolescent journey? Can you remember any high and low points of your teenage years? Can you remember the significant people who impacted you either positively or negatively? Sometimes it helps our relationships with youth when we show empathy and try harder to understand how they might be feeling to help us understand why a seemingly crazy or irresponsible decision was made. We know that the brain is developing in crucial ways until the mid-twenties. All the developing brain research should assist our relationship building skills with youth. Psychologist David Walsh shared some thoughts about the key challenges facing adolescents and I have added another. 12 points every adult working with youth can remember As we move alongside youth, encourage them to become happy and positive people – despite major mood swings, which is normal – and work hard to speak to the potential you can see in them and which they often cannot see. That is where your calm, reassuring presence is genuinely appreciated even if they do not communicate this to you – yet! Adolescents have to: figure out how to get sufficient sleep – a minimum of nine hours every night is highly recommended; handle sexually maturing bodies that give rise to strong urges which they can learn how to manage; try and figure out and manage volatile and powerful emotions; fit into a complex social network; deal with immense peer pressure – both positive and negative; deal with wildly changing moods; decide how they are going to respond...
by Robin Cox | Jun 15, 2020 | Building strengths, Coaching leadership, Mentors, motivating teenagers, Relationships, Resiliency
Can you think of a teacher who had a positive impact on your life? Have you ever thought what your ideal teacher would be like? I have been thinking about this topic in recent days while writing a new book: The Barnabas Prayer – Becoming an encourager in your community. I wrote the first draft of this book during our COVID-19 lockdown, sent it to my publisher and, a couple of weeks later, was surprised to receive the offer of a publishing contract. Surprised? Well, who would have thought I would be offered three publishing contracts within twelve months? I am embraced in this big bubble called ‘humility’. What, you might justifiably ask, has this to do with my ideal teacher? Well, it has made me appreciate even more that most adults are parents, or teachers, or coaches, or mentors – in reality, a combination of these. In other words, whether we like it or not, we will either positively or negatively impact the young people with whom we interact. Eight positive signs of my ideal teacher They affirm life and further its potential, and always share messages of hope. They enter into real discussions with their students because, at heart, they are genuine and emotionally available. They set clear boundaries – negotiated with older students – for themselves and others. They embody values and virtues that others merely admire. They walk the talk. They always make sure their students feel safe and secure in their company. They look to identify their students’ strengths, name them and encourage these young people to use these strengths in positive ways to...
