We have no idea what lies around the corner later today, tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year. It is unknown territory especially for our youth who are continually hearing that many of today’s jobs will disappear, yet no-one knows what the future job market will hold.
The storm clouds of confusion are threatening and never seem to move along.
Over the years I have spent time with young people who have been struggling with issues like these for a variety of reasons. Some have wanted to give up completely and leave school, believing that they can find a job, and that is all that is important.
There will be a story behind these feelings, as there always is and, if you are in a mentoring role, you will probably be able to discern what is going on as you and your mentee establish a trusting and meaningful relationship. Be patient, as this might take some time.
So often young people need encouragement to share what is on their mind knowing that they will not be judged. Often they need reassurance that their current state of confusion is experienced by an overwhelming number of teenagers at a variety of times during the adolescent journey.
There are occasions when they might need a reality check before they make a decision, such as dropping out of school, which they might regret for many years.
Truancy often points to bigger issues going on in a young person’s life. Each instance of truancy will be different. Never be afraid to ask for assistance from someone more experienced if you are feeling the issues are more complex and you are not comfortable trying to work through them alone.
Helpful topics to discuss with young people
Once your mentee is more relaxed communicating with you and starts sharing at a deeper level, you can chat about the social and economic costs of dropping out of school, work or further training (as applicable).
You can, with the permission of your mentee, take on the role of Devil’s Advocate which will allow you to force your mentee to think seriously about any choices with potentially serious long-term consequences.
Discuss all the long-term options for your mentee. What options will remain open if they leave school before being ready to do so? Or, if they terminate a job without adequate notice? Or, give up a training course without completing it?
A 7 Step Strategy
You might find this 7 Step Strategy helpful in shaping any discussions:
- Stop. Think about the problem. Discuss it.
- What are some possible choices?
- Choose ONE of these options.
- Write it down. This is often a great opportunity to launch into a goal setting strategy.
- Put it into action within an agreed, sensible given time.
- Arrange a time for follow-up together to assess how things are progressing.
- At the follow-up, discuss how the chosen option worked. Celebrate the small victories as they are achieved.
The key is to see yourself as the non-judgmental cheerleader who will never quit on your mentee. Some days this might seem hard yet, if you persevere, you might suddenly experience your mentee’s ‘aha!’ moment when they seem to see a way forward.
The storm clouds have gone and the sun is shining again. This could lead to new thinking, a desire for more personal and realistic goals, and the beginning of a whole new life journey.
That moment might be today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. Small steps with an abundance of encouragement as you both look positively into the unknown future and create life-changing moments.
This is the spirit of mentoring.
