Relationship Stages
Stages of the Mentoring Relationship
Most mentor programmes acknowledge that there are a number of stages that the mentoring relationship experiences. These, generally, will include:
Stage 1: Getting to know each other!
- Getting to know each other’s families
- Building foundations of trust and respect
- Doing fun things together
- Setting some specific, realistic, easily achievable and measurable goals
- Planning meeting times
- Setting the boundaries of the relationship
- Sensitively breaking down any barriers that might be evident in the relationship
- Some important questions for the mentor to be seeking answers to at this stage, might include:
- Where did my mentee come from?
- Where does my mentee wish to go?
- What does my mentee need now?
- What is my mentee good at?
- What options are open to my mentee with these skills?
- How can I help my mentee develop and extend these skills?
Stage 2: Achieving goals!
- Formation of a closer emotional bond
- Doing more fun things together (with the mentee perhaps selecting more of these)
- Setting and achieving some s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g goals
- Understanding that the relationship might experience high and low points, yet willingly working through such times
- Seeking ongoing support and encouragement from programme staff, other mentors, other resources
- Affirming the uniqueness of the relationship
- Remaining committed to the relationship
- Encouraging the mentee to develop relationships with other significant adults
Stage 3: Closure!
- Acknowledgment of the effect of the goal setting process
- Where possible, helping the mentee plan for the future
- Doing fun things together
- Preparing for the formal conclusion of the mentoring contract in a healthy, affirming and respectful way
- Reviewing and reflecting on the high points and the low points of the relationship
- Discussing options for staying in touch in the future
- Celebrating the mentoring journey!