Hot Tips for effectively guiding young people

Hot Tips for effectively guiding young people

We have to continually remind ourselves that researchers suggest that young people want to feel cared for (loved) valued that their lives have meaning and purpose 7 ways to understand and encourage Today’s adolescents Most of today’s children learn best by doing things, reflecting on the experience and learning lessons from the activity which they can then apply to their daily lives. As adults we can help them make sense of what appears to them at times to be much confusion. Children value and appreciate recognition for their efforts eg, a special meal, a positive text message, a congratulatory card, something special in their lunch packs, a surprise of some sort which does not have to cost a great deal of money – preferably none at all! Children enjoy hearing true stories which they can relate to, which might motivate them, inspire them, reassure them etc. Children value learning from older people they respect who are genuine and who walk the talk. Such people create an emotionally safe environment in which they also feel secure. Children enjoy diversity and change – how can we, as mentors, parents and coaches, encourage them at such times? Children value consensus and collaboration, two key words in their world. Children value clear and concise communication. 10 Hot Tips for Effective Mentoring, Parenting and Coaching adolescents Listen! Listen! Listen! Love unconditionally and never quit. Apologise sincerely when in the wrong and never publicly humiliate them. Walk alongside them as they explore career options, always encouraging them to go after their dreams. Empathise and affirm. Negotiate boundaries and be consistent. Catch them doing good and...
Adolescents share truths about the impact mentors had on their lives

Adolescents share truths about the impact mentors had on their lives

I often ask the question: when you were a teenager, who, other than your parents and friends, had a significant influence on your life? Sometimes, sadly, people were living in homes that were not functioning too well for a variety of reasons, so positive parental influence might have been lacking. No matter what the situation, so many young people will talk about a teacher or a Coach, a person who cared about them and believed in them. The world mourns the death of so many innocent lives and the injuries others have sustained as a result of bomb blasts and shootings in different parts of the world in recent times, though we must never forget the tens of thousands, maybe millions of young people living in poverty or traumatized by war or some other traumatic event in their lives.  It has spurred me to action.For many years I have been thinking of a way to inspire young people to become the best they can be, the quiet ones who retreat into their shell, who perhaps lack confidence, who need to be reminded that they can take charge of their lives and being shown how to do this. I am working on developing an App, which will have to be free, with an inspiring word each day, not a well known quote, but something more personal which I have written from my experiences working with young people for over 40 years – can’t hide my age! I actually began this project about 15 years ago! I have written the 365 messages to inspire and am now on a journey to...
Surfing through life as a Mentor?!

Surfing through life as a Mentor?!

“How can I help you?” That’s probably the question I ask more than any other when someone approaches me for a chat. It leads to great discussions which are followed by a look at prioritizing which inevitably takes us to goal setting. And, if this involves mentoring an adolescent, I am quick to share the three key points to move them towards a balanced and healthy lifestyle: “How many hours sleep a night are you having?” (Should be 9 hours every night) “How many hours of exercise each week are you having?” (Should be a minimum of 2.5 to 3 hours) “Are you eating a healthy breakfast?” (If not, early academic time will be a waste of energy, as the brain will not be functioning at full throttle!) These are well researched facts now and, while there will always be exceptions to the rule, when mentees are able to tick these three boxes, they will automatically notice the difference in their lives. I was thinking a short while ago, while I was writing my Mentoring Minutes 2 minutes a day Podcasts, of the conversation I had with Rachel (not her real name) when she asked if she could have a chat with me. “How can I help you?” I asked. “I want you to mentor me. I need help with my planning and organization. Last year I lived on five hours sleep a night, I pushed myself so hard to achieve my academic goals and make my parents happy. I achieved them all but I don’t want to live like this anymore. In fact, I’m not going to live...
Drone parents or empowering Mentors for our adolescents?

Drone parents or empowering Mentors for our adolescents?

Thinking again about how different life is today from when I was a child. What can you remember about your childhood? I remember we climbed trees, created our own games indoors and outdoors, rode our bicycles, without helmets, to the local Park where we played on the variety of playground equipment available – Jungle Jims, seesaws, swings, roundabouts – caught tadpoles in the stream running through the Park, all without any adult supervision. We walked or rode to school without adult supervision and caught public transport, even in the evenings, without adult supervision. We jumped into a teacher’s car or another parent’s car if we were going to a sports match without any need of permission slips signed by our parents; we listened to the Top 20 hits of the week on a Sunday night from Radio Lourenco Marques (I was raised in Cape Town); we watched the international sports folk practising and mingled with them after and before matches, with no security guards evident; we listened to the radio, as we did not have Television – Kit Grayson Rides the Range or something like that; Squad Cars; Pick-a-Box, a Quiz Show; Squad Cars, a Detective program; Mark Saxon and Sir Gay Gromuko or something similar …….  yes, those were the days and how different from life today. The rare Computers were massive machines in large office areas with punch cards …. and so I could go on. These thoughts occurred after I read an interesting Blog by Occupational Therapist, Victoria Prooday, The silent tragedy affecting today’s children, which has been read by over 10 million people during the...
How peer pressure changes lives

How peer pressure changes lives

“All successful people have a goal. No-one can get anywhere unless he knows where he wants to go and what he wants to be or do.”  (Norman Vincent Peale (1898 – 1993)) Over the years I have done a lot of work in High or Secondary Schools, attended by 13 to 19-year old students. One of the greatest issues I confront each time is the effect of peer pressure on the lives of these students. It’s seen in the negative attitude to ‘anything’ that is said. It’s seen in the way students, who want to ask questions, who want to get involved in an activity, who want to answer questions etc., remain silent for fear of what their peers might say. It’s supposedly not ‘cool’ to try too hard. Sometimes there are deeper reasons that complicate things even more, as will be evident in the four stories I’ll share in this Blog. I heard the story about Rachel (not her real name), who did really well at Primary School. However, when she moved to High or Senior School she only just passed her exams – 50%, 51%, those types of marks. When challenged, she admitted that she did not want to lose her friends, so she was just doing enough to get through. And, having been an enthusiastic class participant, she also retreated into herself so she did not stand out amongst her peers. Rachel’s story will be familiar to most readers, I am sure. In Letter 2 a Teen, which I wrote as a genuine letter to any teenager trying to find their way during one of the most...
Patience and Perseverance the way to achieve!

Patience and Perseverance the way to achieve!

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.” (anonymous) I love this quote, as it resonates with me and my life journey to date, as I think about all those who have coached, mentored and encouraged me along the different paths I have travelled. There have been times when I have been impatient at the lack of progress with an idea or because other people simply can’t catch the vision, while at other times I have wondered what would have happened had I persevered. How many times can you remember quitting and, as you reflected at a later date, regretted doing so? Three stories from the past week have shown what perseverance, even patience can mean as individuals strive to achieve different goals. The picture that heads my blog today is of Australian swimmer Emily Seebohm, aged 25, winning the World 200 meters Backstroke at the World Championships in Budapest. From the high standards she had set for herself, she failed abysmally at the Rio Olympic Games and came close to quitting the sport. She was suffering from health issues and, once these were sorted, decided to persevere. Having been swimming for Australia for 11 years, few would have begrudged her deciding to retire, as she had won so many medals already. However, she clearly felt she had more to achieve and  so began the long, lonely slog of training and training and training! Her patience with herself and her perseverance, together with the critical support of key people in her...