I have spent time reflecting on the interactions I have had with young people over the years. Thoughts and ideas spring to mind. As adolescents journey to adulthood, and while their brains are still developing, here are 30 tips which will encourage them to reach their potential – come to think of it, they should probably be called 30 Tips for the Best Life, as they can probably be adapted to the lives of adults as well. As a mentor you can print this out and discuss with them and use it as a reference resource during the mentoring journey.

Attitude – never ever forget that you choose your attitude and how you respond to all that life throws at you. Live in hope and work hard at taking a positive, constructive attitude into everything you do and into all your meaningful relationships.

Ask – never stop asking questions no matter how trivial you might think they are. When others share their stories with you, you will gain knowledge which could significantly impact your life decisions.

Apologize – no-one is perfect. When you make a mistake, say the wrong thing, forget to do something you promised to do … whatever it might be, front up and be genuinely sorry.

Celebrate – celebrate the small and large victories; the times you achieve a relatively simple goal or achieve a long-term, major goal or when you successfully make it through a tough challenge. Never lose your sense of humor. Laugh often. Have fun.

Communicate – work consistently hard at developing and improving your communication skills. Become a brilliant listener, a motivator, encourager and inspiration to others. Develop a positive vocabulary, watch your body language and radiate care, compassion and unconditional love towards others. Show empathy, be genuine and respectful, and people will value your contributions to their lives.

Conflict – conflict is part of life. Learn how to turn conflict into a positive learning and growth experience. Deal with it without violating another’s rights and don’t run away from it. Develop mediation skills. Become a healer where there is tension, pain, misunderstanding and suffering. Peacemakers are desperately needed!

Failure – don’t fear failure. Move out of your comfort zone if the challenge is not life-threatening. Life lessons are learnt when you give something a go. The key is to learn from the experience.

Finish well – whatever you do, give it your best shot until you finish, even if this is simply completing something only you know about. Whatever you start, even when you decide it’s not something you wish to pursue, finish well. Those who finish well find more windows of opportunities opening and they will soar on eagle’s wings.

Goal-getting – be a goal getter. Experiment with different methods of reaching your goal/s until you find the best method for you. Draw up a clear action plan and take small steps initially. Research suggests that those who set goals achieve much.

Humility – stay grounded so you do not allow your achievements to go to your head. Be proud of all you achieve, always remaining humble.

Integrity and Forgiveness – be a person of integrity, someone who keeps their word and who others can trust and depend on. Be respectful of yourself and others. Be quick to sincerely forgive those who wrong you, even when you battle to forget.

Learning – never ever stop learning and acquiring knowledge. Knowledge feeds the soul and helps you to become an effective agent of change in your local and wider community. Research, read widely, consult others and explore the works, ideas and opinions of others.

Listen – always listen to the opinions and ideas of others. Older people have more life experiences and their stories can assist your personal growth. They also were adolescents. Through listening, you have the opportunity to discern information you would like to use and store or discard.

Mirror Talk – love the person you see in the mirror each day. Remember you are unique and special and no-one else has your specific gifts and talents. It’s a fact – never forget that. Ignore those who tell you otherwise.

Money – avoid making money your God. It won’t and never can be. While it’s wonderful to have sufficient money to feed, clothe, house and educate ourselves, later to raise a family in a safe and secure environment, money will not buy you happiness, nor will owning the biggest and best TV, mobile phone, or other item of technology. Seriously consider how you can contribute financially to end global poverty and, as you do so, it’s likely you will be making a positive contribution towards climate change issues as well.

Opportunities – engrave into your Being that every obstacle can be turned into an opportunity if you are prepared to think creatively, seek the guidance and wisdom of others and have the patience to work towards something, rather than expect a quick-fix solution or instant gratification. This is how you develop resiliency which helps you bounce back from adversity and teaches you which strengths will help you overcome most challenges.

Passion/s – identify your passion or passions. If you could do anything you wanted today and had all the qualifications you needed, what would you choose to do? That’s your passion – do something with it! Chase it!

Persevere – don’t quit! Go the extra mile even if you have to sweat a little, make some sacrifices (of social life) or commit yourself to something for a little longer. You will amaze yourself at what can be achieved when you do this.

Positive Peers – when you surround yourself with positive peers you will have a greater chance of reaching your potential. Positive peers know right from wrong – always choose your friends carefully and let trust develop over time.

Reflect – take time out each day to think about how you are doing, what you are doing, why you are doing it and what lessons can be learnt. Pray, meditate and be still for a few minutes [at least ten minutes] each day.

Relationships – keep building your relationships and networks with peers, family, other adults (teachers, coaches, people you trust), employers and, most important, with God – that’s a challenge, but the soul needs to be nurtured. The world is slowly coming to appreciate that the story of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus is historically proven. Not sure? With an open mind, check out the details yourself. To be loved unconditionally is an amazing experience and it’s something every honest human being desires.

Self-discipline – build a disciplined lifestyle into all you do. Some examples: 9 hours sleep a night (don’t make excuses about that!); a balanced lifestyle (at least 30 minutes of exercise every second day); manage your time well (time to work, time to study, time to eat, time to socialize and relax, time to exercise (at least 30 minutes of exercise every second day), time to follow an interest or hobby, time to sleep); say ‘no’ to drugs and alcohol abuse (so you don’t damage your brain during crucial developmental times), cigarettes, vaping, and inappropriate sexual behavior.

Service – give of yourself to others expecting nothing in return. Get involved in outreach programs. Through reaching out to others, you can discover many more positive qualities about yourself. Sometimes a friendly smile directed at a stranger or a peer can change their day. The world needs servant leaders – become one.

Share – share your ideals, passions and goals with at least one adult you trust and respect, in addition to your parent/s (optional). This is the person who can guide and encourage you non-judgmentally towards achieving your dreams. This experience teaches you how to be vulnerable with others in a safe and secure environment, a necessary life skill.

Stay focused – keep your eyes on your personal photograph at all times (see visualization below). That will get you through the tough and challenging times. There are no quick-fix, easy solutions. Success takes consistently hard work, careful planning and perseverance.

Take ownership – write down in the present tense i.e. as if you are achieving your goal/s today, how you are feeling e.g. “I feel …because …” Take ownership of your picture.

Teamwork – always seek to be a team player, a sure way to develop positive peer relationships, have role models in your life, be an encouragement to others, turn obstacles into opportunities and reach out to those in need.

Thanks – always express your genuine thanks to all who share their gold nuggets of wisdom and experience with you or offer you a helping hand.

Visualize – create an imaginary photo (or a real one!) of yourself achieving whatever it is you would like to achieve i.e. as though you have already achieved it. Note your body language, your facial expression, your positive thoughts – never let go of it.

CHOICES: Encouraging Youth to Achieve Greatness

In September 2021 my final book aimed at encouraging anyone working with youth was published. CHOICES: Encouraging Youth to Achieve Greatness outlines how my mentors, coaches, teachers and others guided me through a cancer journey as a young boy and then how I became a teacher and created a proven framework from my own experiences to create meaningful relationships with youth. During my teaching, coaching and mentoring career I mentored over 1,000 young people in 1:1 face-to-face relationships – each a unique experience. This book will explain the above thoughts in more depth. The book is also available on Amazon and Kindle.