Do you set your personal best goals? How often do you give up on them? Does the experience feel like you are walking up a mountain path that never seems to end? How much further — so much unknown?
Did you set goals when you were a teenager? Did you ever have someone who helped you with goal setting? If you did set goals, how effective was the process you followed? Did you achieve your goals or did you quit? Did you always feel you were reaching your potential?
I have been a goal setter for most of my life. My goals motivated and inspired me to stay focused and to stand up to negative peer pressure on occasions.
Many times a coach or teacher encouraged me when I felt like quitting, with a message similar to: ‘I believe in you. Don’t give up.’
Life lessons
While I might not have achieved all my goals, I learnt much about myself through the process — and continue to do so — and enjoyed that amazing feeling when I did manage to achieve a specific goal, be it academic, sport, relational, or pursuing a hobby, or some other activity.
What did I learn from the experience?
Well, the truth is that I am still learning! Although now retired, I still set annual goals and break these down into monthly goals, because I want to lead a healthy and balanced lifestyle, and enjoy a fulfilling life.
The work I have done over the years as a teacher, sport coach, and mentor of teenagers always involves goal-setting. I have learnt that, when a young person starts achieving their personal goals, they begin to find meaning and purpose in their lives, and they are more motivated and happier.
22 proven goal setting tips for the mentoring journey
These tips can be adapted by mentors to the particular community in which they are working.
Remember, goal-setting comes, for the most part, after you have established a connection with your mentee, and some feelings of trust exist, a process that could take up to six months.
As you connect with your mentee, and if you sense they are lacking self-confidence, quietly remind them: ‘I believe in you.’ It might be the first time anyone has shared such words with them.
Much will depend on the background and current circumstances of your mentee.
- Have a clear picture (your personal photograph) of what you want to achieve.
- Make sure the goal you are working towards is something you really want to attain.
- Always write your goal as a positive visualisation statement.
- Always write out your goal in complete detail.
- Always ensure your short-term goals are small, specific, realistic, achievable, and measurable.
- Ensure that your goal has a clear deadline.
- Make a list of anticipated obstacles, and see how many can be converted into positive opportunities — is there someone you trust who you can ask to help you with this?
- Identify all the skills, information, knowledge, resources and help from people and organizations that you will need to achieve your goals.
- Always ensure that you have a clear plan of action in place.
- Remember that goals change as you mature. Review them regularly, adjust them when and where necessary, or reframe them, thus reflecting the growth in your personality, your life changes, your priority changes, and new opportunities.
- Don’t let goal-setting become your master — goals must bring you real pleasure, satisfaction, and a sense of achievement. If this is not happening, revisit them.
- Personal factors such as tiredness, other commitments, and the need for rest should be taken into account when you set your goals.
- Don’t set too many goals at any one time.
- Start the goal-setting process with small, specific, measurable, and easily achievable action steps, and then begin to stretch yourself a little more as your self-confidence increases.
- Be consistent, and have the courage to act and to take non-life-threatening risks.
- Set challenging goals that require energy and self-discipline to achieve.
- Reward your progress towards the achievement of your goal — celebrate every small step.
- Focus on your goals on a daily basis (consider placing your goals in a video which you can often refer to, perhaps share with someone you trust, or place them in a diary, or on your mobile phone).
- Consider setting your goals after you have discussed management of time with someone you trust, remembering that you manage your own time.
- Ensure that your goals are aligned to your values, your mission, your purpose in life.
- Rid yourself of the negative factors in your life; the negative people (wherever possible).
- Use your failures as learning curves for planning future successes.
Always seek to make goal-setting a fun and enjoyable aspect of the mentoring journey.
How are you doing with your goals? A story to share with a young person?
Cover Photo by Colton Miller on Unsplash