What happened when you sailed out of the safe harbor of your comfort zone into the stormy seas of life?
Much of my life I moved alongside teenagers, or teaching colleagues, or parents, often with messages of encouragement and hope.
These interactions taught me much about doing my best to walk in the shoes of others, to remember that everyone has a story, and that every life matters.
Here are ten strategies I continually remind myself to use when I seek to connect with others.
- Listen! Listen! Listen!
- Love unconditionally and never quit.
- Apologize sincerely when in the wrong, and never publicly humiliate others, especially young people.
- Walk alongside others as they explore career options, always encouraging them to chase their dreams.
- Empathize and affirm.
- Negotiate boundaries and be consistent.
- Catch them doing good and celebrate!
- Journey with others through failure to make this a positive learning experience without trying to enforce your values on them, and focus more on their effort than performance.
- Support their idealism, and let them know you believe in them, and are their greatest cheerleaders.
- Keep envisioning the people they can become; never let go of that vision. Speak to the potential you can see and which many often are unable to see for a variety of reasons.
There is that wonderful moment when, many years after I have mentored a student, our paths cross. I am left humbled when I receive a comment such as this, written by Ross:
“It is very nice to be in touch. I have always wanted to thank you for the role you played in my life at [school]. I remember our history lessons with pleasure, but mainly chats and a Coke after our weekly squash games. It made a big difference to me that you showed me that care and interest. I have appreciated that for thirty years, and think of you often. It is with you that I recall having my first conversation with anyone about wanting to become a [career choice] … It has gone well for me, but the first step was with you, and our discussions of why I lost matches from 2–0 up were my first [career] experiences. Mentoring Matters is a wonderful project that I am sure has given you the opportunity to affect many lives in the way you influenced mine.”
Do you have a story to share about how you have positively moved alongside and nurtured someone to become the best they can be, or to reach their unique potential?
Cover Photo by Manasa Putnala on Unsplash
