What do you love most in life? What is really important to you in your life? What gives your life meaning?
This is the question South African paediatrician, Dr Alastair McAlpine, asked the terminally ill children, aged between four and nine, he was caring for a while ago.
Living in the twenty-first century digital age, their answers might surprise you. None of the children wished that they had spent more time on social media platforms, or watching TV.
None of the children enjoyed fighting with others.
“Often kids even in very short lives can teach us so much,” Dr McAlpine shared.
He looked around at local and global issues and was struck by so much depressing news. “It made me think of these amazing children I deal with who are facing real problems. If they could be positive and upbeat, I felt others should be.”
8 Positive life lessons
Dr McAlpine summarized eight of the positive life lessons these children teach us about how to enjoy life and find meaning in life:
- Be kind.
- Read more books.
- Spend time with family.
- Crack jokes.
- Go to the beach.
- Hug your dog and love your pets.
- Tell that special person you love them.
- Eat ice cream.
As I read this article one word came to mind: relationships.
The importance of relationships
Relationships with family, people, and animals — face-to-face relationships.
That reminded me how important and powerful significant adults are in the lives of young people, and most especially in the lives of teenagers as they face all the challenges and confusions life throws at them at a time when their bodies and brains are developing in extraordinary ways.
After a six to nine month mentoring relationship with a trained volunteer adult mentor as part of the GR8 Mates school-based youth mentoring program — which I trialled over a three-year period — the importance of a new relationship was echoed in the following thanks from Tony to his mentor at the final gathering to celebrate the end of the program.
“Thank you for all the help and support you have given me over the months we have been together.
You have made me realise that nothing is impossible and I can do anything I aspire to be.
You’ve made me stronger both physically and mentally. Before I met you my anger got the best of me. Now, through your support and encouragement it is no longer an issue for me.
Now I believe I’m making something of my life and want to better my future. You have shown me the importance of a good career and the benefits of a healthy lifestyle.
I could never thank you enough. You are truly the most caring person I’ve ever met and I wish to thank you for your commitment to me. You’ve made me a better person and for that I will never forget you.
Thank you.”
Tony and his mentor continued to meet for the next nine years and, perhaps, are still in touch.
And at the same function, 15-year old Kath thanked her mentor:
“I write this letter to thank you … because without you I doubt I would have gotten through the year. You’ve been a mentor and a friend, which is more than I could of expected and I also thank you for your patience and guidance and I’m glad to have a mentor who cares as much as you.
Whether I fail school or not, I always want to give you my deepest gratitude for all your help. It was your time to do with what you wish. Instead you came to my school every week and offered me advice and friendship!”
Many years later Kath’s mentor was going through some personal issues and Kath sent her a message just to let her know that, just as she had supported Kath all those years ago in the GR8 Mates mentoring program, so Kath would be there for her mentor during a challenging time.
If your child or mentee asked you: “What do you love most in life?”, how would you respond, hopefully now inspired by the thoughts of some terminally ill children who shared such wise perspectives on what is really important in life?
