The Greatest Life Lesson I have learnt

The Greatest Life Lesson I have learnt

What is the most important or greatest life lesson you have learnt to date? This is a question I have thought a lot about during the past 12 months as I have adjusted to retirement after 42 years as an educator. My response to this question is obvious (to me!), yet equally challenging to live by in a 21st Century increasingly secular and politically correct global community.I pause and look at the current global situation. We are told that the level of poverty is decreasing, yet there are still millions of people living in poverty. The Middle East remains a powder keg which could explode any day. The number of authoritarian, egocentric rulers – dictators would be a better term – seems to be increasing. This means more and more people are likely to be living in oppression, some of whom, who know no other lifestyle, probably don’t even realise this. Ruling with fear is no way to bring about global peace. In 2016 I visited Terezin Concentration Camp outside Prague where I was deeply moved by the drawings by children, most of whom were put to death by the Nazis. I have studied the major world religions in an effort to better understand the make-up of our global community. What, therefore, is the Greatest Life Lesson I have learnt? Men or women with big egos are unlikely to bring peace to the world, as their motives lack the heart of the Great Teaching, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” I have learnt that God is good and He is working out His plan; that I have no comprehension of...
A life lesson for you and me from a teenager

A life lesson for you and me from a teenager

How did you approach competition as a teenager? Prior to retiring and having stopped coaching sport as a result of my schedule as an Assistant Head of a large School, every Saturday I would head off to watch as many sports matches as I could – even if I watched a match for five minutes that was okay, as the students could see I was interested. I tried to watch matches of students I taught or informally mentored. A two minute conversation about a match, while a class was settling down for a lesson, could positively affirm or impact at least one life – I know this did happen! However, a memorable moment was watching Caitlyn (not her real name) playing a Netball match.The day before her match I had been having an informal chat with Caitlyn as we were passing one another on the school campus. I had noticed she had been wearing a brace on her hand the previous week and wondered if she was injured. As we parted company she asked me if I was going to be watching the match the next day. I assured her I would be cheering on the sidelines! Caitlyn’s team came close to winning. I know nothing about the rules of Netball, but I can see that it must be such a frustrating game to play when the shooters just can’t get the ball through the hoop consistently. While other mistakes inevitably occur for a variety of reasons, Caitlyn’s team lost the match in the final minutes. I decided simply to focus on watching Caitlyn for a period of time...
How you, too, can inspire Teenagers to chase their dreams!

How you, too, can inspire Teenagers to chase their dreams!

Cast your mind back to your teenage years and think about someone outside of your family who was either a formal or informal mentor to you, maybe a coach, certainly someone who positively influenced your life? How and why did this person have such an impact on your life? What skills did this person help you to develop and add to your lifelong bag of skills to make a positive difference in the world? Many of my teachers and coaches made a great impact on my life at different seasons of my journey through adolescence. Dealing with recovery from Cancer, being shy and self-conscious, I had many personal challenges to overcome and often my negative self-talk or feelings of self-pity became obstacles to my personal development – until Anthony Mallett entered my life.The one person who probably had the most impact on my teenage life was my Headmaster, Anthony Mallett, who had played Cricket for England (MCC) and was also active in numerous other sports, especially Squash, by the time I interacted with him. He was a superb actor, a keen gardener and an enthusiastic Bridge player with a wicked sense of humour – a man of many talents! After teaching in England, he married and moved with his wife to Peterhouse in what was then Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe), taking up a teaching position at this Independent School that had recently opened. There he spent many years helping to develop the strong foundations of a school that is thriving today, before he moved to Cape Town in South Africa and became Headmaster of my old school, a position he...
Do you think there is HOPE for the future? I do and here’s why!

Do you think there is HOPE for the future? I do and here’s why!

Do you think there is HOPE for the future? That’s a challenging question to ask a young person, though you’ll probably be surprised when most answer in the affirmative. “What if _____?” I wonder how many times I have asked this question over the years? I have been an idealist chasing dreams throughout my life. Some of these dreams have been attained. Others – I HOPE I am still on that journey to achieve them, as most involve reaching out in some way to those less fortunate than I am. Hope! I remembered Jason’s story.Jason (not his real name) contacted me over 20 years after I had coached and taught him. All he wanted to say was thank you for believing in him during a challenging time of his life. His parents had separated and he was struggling with the implications of that as a 14 or 15-year old. I had given him responsibility for opening and locking a meeting room. I had no idea at the time that this incredibly small task – in my eyes – had proved a life-changing moment for him. Someone had trusted him, given him a responsible task to undertake and he had been truly appreciative of the impact that had had on his self-belief. A message of HOPE! Retirement encourages a time for reflection and many of those “What if ___?”  questions. While I have a few regrets, that’s for sure, I remain eternally grateful for all the opportunities that have come my way, most especially those involved in working with young people as a teacher, coach and mentor. Behind all this...
15 proven signs of mentally strong teenagers you can nurture

15 proven signs of mentally strong teenagers you can nurture

How much support did you have around you when you were a teenager? What did that scaffolding look like, feel like and sound like? While working in my home office recently, I looked out to see a painter – probably in his 30s – sitting on the scaffolding opposite our apartment taking a selfie! A quick adjustment of the T-shirt, fingers repositioning the hair, seated upright – mobile phone at the ready, a smile and click! Great selfie which was quickly sent to a friend, a loved one?Four storeys up. Beautiful sea view with that perfect autumn day framed by a cloudless, brilliant blue sky. The scaffolding was secure, strong, supportive, enabling this special moment in a painter’s day to occur. He felt safe. That got me thinking about the signs of a mentally strong teenager and the scaffolding that supports him/her so that he/she would always feel safe and secure. I have spent many months collating years and years of adolescent research and, more recently, linking this research to the latest adolescent neuroscience research. This research has reiterated how important it is for youth to have significant adults as their non-judgmental Cheerleaders to walk alongside them during a critically important season of their lives while their brains are developing. As these meaningful relationships are developed and the significant adult takes on an encouraging and nurturing role, here are 15 proven signs of mentally strong teenagers to look out for. Youth: Know the importance of feeling lovable, capable and competent and the power of positive peer pressure. Know how to positively manage their time and remain active and involved,...
The 6 Senses of Resiliency to Inspire your Mentoring Journey

The 6 Senses of Resiliency to Inspire your Mentoring Journey

Can you remember a time, as an adolescent, when you bounced back from adversity? What did you do? Who assisted you? Your answers to those questions will tell you something about your resiliency, a topic I think about a great deal when working with young people. It’s a topic I am currently focusing on as I co-author The Self-Learning Coaching Handbook: for Parents, Teachers and Mentors with Dr Jeannette Vos. The series of books will be available later in the year. Resilience research clearly reveals some key points to all who work with youth, highlighted by resilience expert Bonnie Bernard. These key points are: Most youth ‘make it’; All individuals have the power to transform and change; Teachers and schools have the power to transform lives; It’s how we do what we do that counts; Teachers beliefs in innate capacity start the change process. I remember playing a sport’s match when I was about 17-years old and my team was being hammered. It looked like just a matter of time before we were defeated. I was Captaining the side and had to make some tactical decisions, after consulting with my deputy, which paid off, the team pulled together in an amazing way, the opposition hit the panic button and we ended up winning an exciting match. A memorable victory, one I still read about today when I look for some inner strength and motivation. My one Coach had taught me how important it was to persevere and NEVER to quit. He believed in me and saw the potential that I was not yet seeing. That day taught me that one of...