How you can always be a seed sower in your relationships

How you can always be a seed sower in your relationships

Have you ever felt totally helpless when you have tried to assist someone struggling with personal issues to move into a better head space? What hope do I have in all reality working with sixteen-year-old Max (not his real name) when he comes from such a dysfunctional family? I know I cannot be a savior, nor a rescuer and my teaching, mentoring or coaching role is not about ‘fixing’ families or people. I have found over the years that working with adolescents is considerably more challenging when the family is not functioning well. Drone parents I have seen what I call ‘drone parents’ getting in the way, protecting their children because they have their own agendas for their children, thus contributing to the emergence of a ‘powderpuff’ generation of young people who will struggle in an increasingly entrepreneurial, innovative world where one might have to risk failure to achieve dreams. I have seen parents with their own mental health issues becoming a mixture of drone or helicopter parents. They hover and interfere, and much depends on their own mood swings with regard to how they react to situations involving their children. Wearing my education and mentoring hats, as well as reflecting on years of experience working with young people, I can see the potential damage the parent’s suffocating love will cause, but I have to pull back, as I am unable to save a child, fix, or rescue a family. Be a seed sower So, all I do is try and sow lots of positive seeds of HOPE, trusting that one day the young person will remember the discussions,...
“I am too busy!” Whose voice are you listening to?

“I am too busy!” Whose voice are you listening to?

“Be always willing to tell others about the One whom to know is life eternal.” (Michael Cassidy*) “I am too busy!” “[Name} does not respond to all emails as he or she is too busy.” “If you don’t hear from me or us during the next [time period] …” These are increasingly common responses I seem to bump into when I am trying to contact people of influence especially. Of course, they will have huge demands on their time. This is something I respect and accept. Michael Cassidy was never one of these people and for that I am truly grateful. However, when I look at the life of Jesus as my role model, He never seemed to turn people away. Indeed, he sat in the dirt with some of them – humble, selfless, totally focused on the person or people who approached Him – empathized and gave them His time. There were occasions when His disciples tried to protect Him from the crowds, yet somehow He always knew there was someone who needed His words of encouragement. He was the master of effectively managing His time. How do you encourage others? Do you set out to encourage just one person each day? This is what I am doing,as I learn how important it is to be available to others. 7 Key Qualities of Effective Teachers – Encouragement for Christian Educators 7  Key Qualities of Effective Teachers – Encouragement for Christian Educators aims to value, motivate, encourage, re-energize and inspire Christian teachers in their critically important role as transformative educators, in the hope that they will continue motivating and...
When last did you say: “Hey Teacher! You ARE Amazing?” – A true story

When last did you say: “Hey Teacher! You ARE Amazing?” – A true story

Do you ever wonder what you will do when you retire? Will I spend time babysitting my grandchildren? Or, will I look at ways of contributing to the education debate? Perhaps I can become involved in a program at church or in the community? I have this sense that, despite all the technology around us, positive human relationships are the key foundation to our future and must be championed, yet how do I champion that? Or, should I ….? And so the questions continued as I drove out of school for the last time as an employee, and entered the world called ‘retirement’ at the end of March 2017. What next? Little did I know what would unfold in the months ahead. Conflicting thoughts “You never retire. Always something to do.” “You will find that you will be even busier when you retire. Well, at least that’s what I have found out.” “It is easy to stagnate. I don’t want you getting bored.” “I’ll never be bored. I have always found something to keep me occupied.” Voices! Voices! Words of well-meaning advice, caution, encouragement, even concern about my future well-being. And, I am seeking words of wisdom and discernment beyond my years as I move away from a world that has embraced my life and about which I shall always be passionate. The call? Then, one morning, while on my daily walk along the seafront, March 16, 2018, a nudge, a voice in my head: “Write a book specifically to encourage Christian teachers. Short, easy to read with lots of tips and strategies to help teachers …” The journey...
How to carry a message of HOPE into the future

How to carry a message of HOPE into the future

Do you think there is HOPE for the future? That’s a challenging question to ask a young person, though you’ll probably be surprised when most answer in the affirmative. Do you remember living in HOPE as a teenager? Why was this? Do you still hold those thoughts? Did anyone inspire you with positive and hopeful possibilities when you were young? So many questions … “What if _____?” I wonder how many times I have asked this question over the years? I have been an idealist chasing dreams throughout my life. Some of these dreams have been attained. Others – I HOPE I am still on that journey to achieve them, as most involve reaching out in some way to those less fortunate than I am or developing a new resource to encourage young people to reach their potential. Hope! I remembered Mike’s story.Mike (not his real name) contacted me over 20 years after I had coached and taught him. All he wanted to say was thank you for believing in him during a challenging time of his life. His parents had separated and he was struggling with the implications of that as a 14 or 15-year old. I had given him responsibility for opening and locking a meeting room. I had no idea at the time that this incredibly small task – in my eyes – had proved a life-changing moment for him. Someone had trusted him, given him a responsible task to undertake and he had been truly appreciative of the impact that had had on his self-belief. A message of HOPE! Retirement encourages a time for reflection...
7 Life Lessons from ‘fossils’ in the age of instant gratification

7 Life Lessons from ‘fossils’ in the age of instant gratification

Can you remember a time when you worked hard for something and enjoyed success or victory? Or, you didn’t quite make it? How did you feel? What life lessons can you share with others as a result of those experiences? Or, do you sometimes feel like a ‘fossil’, passed your ‘use-by-date’? While enjoying my daily beach walk, I have been reflecting on questions like these. I have enjoyed a variety of successes over the years – many sporting achievements and awards, becoming a school principal, developing youth mentoring programs in New Zealand and Australia, author of a number of published books and lots more. And now, as I embrace retirement, I am wondering if I am becoming a fossil and am passed my use-by date or whether there is one more chapter of my life story to write prior to the Epilogue? This was until I reflected on some wonderful life lessons from the ‘fossils’ in the 2019 New Zealand Silver Ferns World Championship Netball team. Overcoming adversity The Silver Ferns, against all odds, defeated the defending champions, Australian Diamonds, in a cliffhanger world cup final earlier this week by the narrowest of margins, one goal! The Silver Ferns, once one of the powerhouses of women’s netball, had faded in recent years and, after a disastrous Commonwealth Games in 2017, a new coach was appointed and the captain, Katrina Rore, was stripped of the captaincy and then dropped. However, as I have often shared over the years, there is a solution to every problem or challenge. New coach – fresh thinking New Coach, Noeline Taurua, overlooked in the past...